17.23
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Not Everyone Wants Kids
Not everyone wants kids. A simple enough statement right? Apparently not.
It's the 21st century yet for some reason people still seem to think that all women want to have a baby. It's still perfectly acceptable for a man to not want children, but if a woman decides it's not for her, it's a scandal - or a situation that needs rectifying.
At 27 I currently think I do want to have a family at some point. I think I'd make a decent enough parent and that's my choice, however I haven't always felt like that. Throughout my 20s there were definitely times when I thought that maybe I wouldn't want children. Even though now I've decided I probably do, I completely respect any of my friends that have decided they don't want children, and there are actually quite a few - including several women.
My lovely housemate for example doesn't want to have children. She's not against children, and she has toyed with the idea in the past, but when it comes down to it, it's just not for her yet for some people this seems to be an absolute outrage. I was shocked to discover that one of her colleagues on finding out said housemate didn't want children, decided it was her mission to change her mind and get her wanting babies. I WAS LIVID. How rude? Imagine if it was the other way around and you tried to convince this woman not to have children! Secondly, I'm pretty sure if my housemate had been a man, this woman wouldn't have given it a second thought.
So it appears we are still living in a very sexist world, and it really does seem that way. In the last year or two I've definitely noticed an increase in "when are you going to have a baby?" questions being fired my way. I highly doubt my boyfriend is experiencing this same problem (ok apart from his Mum...but I'm not counting that). This question remains exclusive for women of a certain age going hand in hand with "when are you getting married?".
People who decide not to have children aren't bad people, they are just people making an informed choice. They are people who have actually given some thought to whether they think bringing a child into this world is the right thing for them to do. The world is already vastly overpopulated, the UK is struggling to support it's population and it appears on the whole people can't really afford the children they are having. So surely it's better people choose not to have children rather than bring a child into the world they don't really want, or don't feel they can commit all of their time to?
Women in particular seem to have this pressure put upon them, that when they reach a certain age they will become googly eyed and broody and will want to do nothing else but have babies. Sod the career you've spent your whole life working towards, sod your social life, sod the book you were writing or any aspirations you ever had. It's baby time. You'd think that in this day and age people would have finally realised that we aren't all cast from the same mould. Sure, some people might feel exactly like that - and that's amazing, good for them! Other women might never feel like that but still decide to have a baby - awesome! Yay for you. And some women might feel like that, yet decide that the feeling doesn't outweigh all the massive changes and upheaval in their lives that having a baby would cause, and so decide not to have children - also, amazing! Great for them.
Women should be able to choose what is best for them - and it should be ok for them to state they don't want to have children without it being followed by a sharp intake of breath and a deathly silence.
At 27 I currently think I do want to have a family at some point. I think I'd make a decent enough parent and that's my choice, however I haven't always felt like that. Throughout my 20s there were definitely times when I thought that maybe I wouldn't want children. Even though now I've decided I probably do, I completely respect any of my friends that have decided they don't want children, and there are actually quite a few - including several women.
My lovely housemate for example doesn't want to have children. She's not against children, and she has toyed with the idea in the past, but when it comes down to it, it's just not for her yet for some people this seems to be an absolute outrage. I was shocked to discover that one of her colleagues on finding out said housemate didn't want children, decided it was her mission to change her mind and get her wanting babies. I WAS LIVID. How rude? Imagine if it was the other way around and you tried to convince this woman not to have children! Secondly, I'm pretty sure if my housemate had been a man, this woman wouldn't have given it a second thought.
So it appears we are still living in a very sexist world, and it really does seem that way. In the last year or two I've definitely noticed an increase in "when are you going to have a baby?" questions being fired my way. I highly doubt my boyfriend is experiencing this same problem (ok apart from his Mum...but I'm not counting that). This question remains exclusive for women of a certain age going hand in hand with "when are you getting married?".
People who decide not to have children aren't bad people, they are just people making an informed choice. They are people who have actually given some thought to whether they think bringing a child into this world is the right thing for them to do. The world is already vastly overpopulated, the UK is struggling to support it's population and it appears on the whole people can't really afford the children they are having. So surely it's better people choose not to have children rather than bring a child into the world they don't really want, or don't feel they can commit all of their time to?
Women in particular seem to have this pressure put upon them, that when they reach a certain age they will become googly eyed and broody and will want to do nothing else but have babies. Sod the career you've spent your whole life working towards, sod your social life, sod the book you were writing or any aspirations you ever had. It's baby time. You'd think that in this day and age people would have finally realised that we aren't all cast from the same mould. Sure, some people might feel exactly like that - and that's amazing, good for them! Other women might never feel like that but still decide to have a baby - awesome! Yay for you. And some women might feel like that, yet decide that the feeling doesn't outweigh all the massive changes and upheaval in their lives that having a baby would cause, and so decide not to have children - also, amazing! Great for them.
Women should be able to choose what is best for them - and it should be ok for them to state they don't want to have children without it being followed by a sharp intake of breath and a deathly silence.
