Working with Your Gifted Child’s Teacher

I have a dear friend in Ireland that I have never met in person. We became friends through Twitter because we both are mothers of gifted children and share a sense that we can make the world a better place by sharing our experiences about what we have learned throughout their lifetimes. We both are involved in education, as well.

Recently, she wrote a blog post (see, http://innreach.wordpress.com/ ) concerning how her relationships with her children’s teachers affected their time in school. It made me begin to think. I had similar experiences and you may have had these, too.

I would like to continue the discussion, but from a slightly different point of view. I am not a teacher; my degree is in sociology. But, as you can read in my bio, I have worked the past 8 years in education – first as a substitute teacher and presently as a paraeducator in special education. My experience has taught me that parent-teacher relationships are critical to the quality of education your child receives in school. It’s like a symbiotic relationship cubed. I am a firm believer in the “it takes a village to raise a child” approach to parenting.

Teachers can be cruel when dealing with gifted children. I have witnessed it in the classroom and have experienced it as a parent. However, parents can also be just as heartless in the demands they make and in the manner in which they approach teachers. It doesn’t have to be this way. Both sides could benefit from ‘professional development’.

Since I am assuming that my audience is mostly parents, I’d like to offer a few suggestions to help you improve your relationship with your child’s teachers. First, remember that teachers are human, too; they have feelings that can be bruised and can react just like anyone else. Second, when it comes to gifted education, very few teachers have had any exposure to it while in college or subsequently through professional development. This is a worldwide problem in gifted education. However, it is a fluid situation due to progress being made through global advocacy efforts by national and international organizations as well as in the realm of higher education. As I have mentioned many times before, groups of professional advocates, parents, and educators are connecting on the Internet daily to work together to solve these issues.

When you first meet a teacher, don’t assume that they are experts in every facet of education. Your first experience will probably involve an elementary teacher soon after your child is identified as gifted. Your first reaction is probably to learn everything you can about what it means for your child to be gifted. Do not assume that this is the teacher’s top priority. Unless your child is fortunate enough to enroll in a program for the gifted, his or her teacher will be under many demands that you do not even realize. In today’s world, the pressure to get all students to excel on standardize tests can overwhelm a teacher. Recent budget cuts to education only make matters worse. Class sizes are increasing, supply shortages often fall on the shoulders of teachers, and student behavior has been on a downward slope for over a generation.

Enter the new gifted parent. I want my child accelerated. My child’s needs aren’t being met. Why can’t you provide differentiated instruction? My child is bored in your class. Get the picture? Right away, the teacher is put on the defensive. They may agree with you, but certainly don’t feel like facing demands before they get to know your child. Another approach might be to share information about your child’s history and provide the teacher with articles you have found concerning gifted education. Is this your job? No, but a little bit of mutual respect and understanding can go along way in building a positive relationship with the teacher. Will every teacher respond to this approach? Absolutely not. But making the effort could make all the difference for your child and that is what is most important.

Another approach that I have found to work well is to get involved. Organize parents and meet with each other not only to advocate for gifted education, but to also support one another. Bring teachers and gifted administrators into your group. Express your desire to work together. Join state and national advocacy groups and educate yourself so that you can become a resource for the teacher rather than an adversary. Learn about what other school districts in your area offer in regard to gifted opportunities. By networking, parents can often enlighten educators as to what is available.

To review … you and your child’s teacher can work together. Develop a relationship based on mutual respect. A little education can go a long way. Remember who is most important in this relationship … your child.